The Animal
Some things in life are obvious. Take an umbrella if it's raining. You didn’t actually win a free cruise. The men in suits are going to work. Don’t order alllll those ribs. Other things in life, however, are not.
Which animal is the quintessential animal? If we had to select one animal to represent all animals, who would wear the crown? If I were to say “animal” to you, which I am, which animal pops into your head? If I asked you to make flash cards to help babies learn basic concepts, what picture would you put on the card for animals? I asked this question on my instagram story (@silliebobbiebrown yeah idgaf), and the people went wild (like animals! haha.).
I’ve never had people be so engaged with my online presence and I have literally posted pictures of myself in underwear.
Before getting into my findings from the Instagram poll and speaking directly with my constituents, I have a few disclaimers. I presented this question with no opinion. This wasn’t one of those things where you ask “anyone seen any good movies lately?” because you really want to talk about a movie you just watched. I. Did. Not Know. Which. Animal. I was reaching out to others because I was stressed. I will admit I may have swayed public opinion by mentioning zoos, because I do sort of feel zoos, for all their flaws, are the most iconic animal experience. Other than that, I was merely a vessel.
The responses were broken into a few camps. The largest two groups were that of Dog and Lion. The arguments for Dog were pretty quantitative, referencing how frequently we interact with dogs and their prevalence in culture. The arguments for Lion were much more qualitative. It was more about how Lion just felt right. Lion triggered metaphorical synesthesia, and I say metaphorical because synesthesia isn’t real but that’s another article.
As I mentioned earlier, I do not know what the answer is. But I do know what it isn’t: and that’s Dog. Yes, dogs are everywhere, oftentimes off leash slurping down pup cups in the Boston Commons Starbucks. I won’t deny their popularity in any way, in fact I’ll build upon it. Dogs have transcended animality culturally, the same way us humans have. Humans have the largest population of any animal and by far the best TV shows, and yet no one thinks Human should be The Animal. Wooooow. That’s my impression of everyone reading this right now. Woooow. That’s you because I made such a good point. Also- saying Dog is your favorite animal is like saying your sister is your best friend. Sure, sure, sure, whatever. “Your sister is your best friend.” Let me guess, if you can have dinner with anyone living or dead it’d be your grandpa just one more time? BORING! Say Princess Diana! Your sister isn’t your best friend, Dog isn’t The Animal, let’s move on.
Oh, okay, so it’s Lion then. WRONG! You’re wrong and should be more patient. Lion and Dog were the two largest groups, but don’t sleep on the green party of animals: Chicken. Chicken was first raised by my friend Tess, and I think it's genius for a variety of reasons. Firstly, the barnyard. Barnyard animals. That is a pretty iconic group of animals. I think I really swayed the initial conversation in a Zoo direction, and Chicken highlights the kind of responses we could have gotten in a vacuum. Secondly, Chicken does have a decent amount of clout in popular culture. Chicken makes me think of the internationally significant Minecraft, the riddle about the farmer and the fox and the grain, the chicken dance, Easter somehow– there’s a lot going on in Chicken’s favor. Unfortunately, there is one major issue with Chicken for me. Chicken is food. This is especially poignant since I know Tess is a vegetarian, and it reveals a lot about us meat eaters as people. Chicken exists in two separate spheres for me: the iconography and the menu item. The line between the two gets a little too blurry for me to confidently proclaim Chicken a winner, and so it is with heavy heart I think Chicken is not The Animal.
Honorable mentions include Elephant, Alligator, and Horse. These are fine. The barnyard zoo divide is present here again, and then well there’s Alligator. I have my own vendetta against Alligators since I think it's dumb. It's a totally separate species from Crocodile because c’mon let’s be serious. My friend Keely brought up Zebra, saying its “weird color” clearly signals it as a “different being,” and I think that’s a pretty smart thing to say. Zebra is the foremost example of words that start with Z, making it a major part of early childhood education. Zebra was also mentioned by Apple, which is to say when you type “animal” in iMessage the suggested emojis are a giraffe, then a zebra, then a hedgehog. Good for Hedgehog, getting to roll with the big dogs. See! Dogs! Too much non-animal stuff going on with dogs.
I asked my coworker, Susan, about this and she just sort of seemed confused. So I guess it's also important to say I am confusing others.
My final answer: it's Lion. I know earlier I said it wasn’t, but I was lying. Or should I say...Lion. No, I won’t say that. The winner of The Animal is Lion. They’re iconic, they’re separate enough from everyday life, they’re at the zoo, they have the weird mane which plays into Keely’s “different being” theory. I think they have just the right amount of pop culture accreditation, and they just feel right. The last justification is what I personally believe is the most important. In a debate about the level of recognizability and icon status, how often it pops into people’s minds can’t be ignored. There’s so much left to say (we didn’t even get into aquatic life), but I’ll leave you with this: how good it looks on the card.
