A Night In The Life of a Consumer of “A Sleepy Day In The Life Of A London Mouse” A Review

I’ve watched ASMR videos pretty consistently over the past six years, and to be honest with you, I do listen to some of the weird shit. I tell people that I’m just listening to tapping on jars, but the truth is that I'm typically out cold about three minutes into the sound of a woman pretending to check me into a hotel. I’ve developed one of the most deeply unique and confusing YouTube recommended pages possible, and I want to share the fruits of my labor with the public.

I recently stumbled upon “A Sleepy Day In The Life Of A London Mouse,” posted by the YouTube channel Get Sleepy. The thumbnail can only be described as enchanting: the small mouse standing so hopeful, so genderless in the foreground, completely unfazed by Tower Bridge in the distance. It gives the instant impression that this mouse isn’t wowed by London, but rather a local who uses the city merely as a backdrop to their daily routine. All of this gets the click, but is it worth the listen?

In a great ASMR video, I’m typically looking for three things: the Soothing to Creepy Ratio (SCR), the Entertaining to Sleepy Ratio (ESR), and the Rewatchability Factor (RF).

The SCR is pretty obvious – Is this creepy? Am I relaxed or am I kind of freaked out? The latter mainly occurs with a male narrator  (foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing…). The ideal score here is a 10:1, but I would argue that most ASMR videos fall somewhere around 7:3.

Unlike SCR, a perfect ESR isn’t about perfection – it’s about balance. I want to be entertained, but I can't be so enthralled that I stay awake. We’re hoping for a 5:5 here.

Finally, there’s the RF. One of the great joys of ASMR is that you can milk one good video for weeks. Most ASMRtists make their videos over an hour long knowing everyone is asleep and they can wrack up watch-times for ad revenue purposes. The problem arises when an ASMRtist just kinda loops rain sounds after twenty minutes and you’re shit out of luck (foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing….).

Enough lecture, let’s do a lab. Our test subject is not a rat, but a mouse. A sleepy, Londoner of a mouse. The video begins with a man, who introduces himself as “Thomas,'' informing us that tonight’s story will be about a mouse named “Percival” and it has been written by “Jessica” and will be performed by “Simon.” Basically all of that made me laugh. When Thomas bows out and Simon steps up to the plate, I will say it’s clear why. Simon is genuinely gifted at speaking calmly about Percival The Mouse. I couldn’t believe my ears; Even though a strange man was speaking, it wasn’t particularly creepy, it was strikingly soothing. SCR? 8:2.

 That was until Percival’s personality came into the picture. In a truly bizarre choice, Percival is homeless. He “likes waking up somewhere new everyday.” which is a complex character choice I was just not anticipating. I thought this would be more of a Sleepy Time Tea-bear-in-his-chair vibe, but no. Percival is a societal rogue, who hitchhikes in the purses of cyclists and takes baths in the “splashiest” fountain in Regent Park. It’s also important to note this story takes place in our modern day, human-run London, and other than the one instance wherein a local cheesemonger gives him a chunk of cheddar (literal), Percival does seem to avoid humans. Percival’s main goal of the day is to visit his cousin Petunia who lives in a mouse hole in Buckingham Palace.

What I’m saying here is that this mouse breaks into Buckingham palace. He does not give a fuck. He sits on the THRONE. He sees King Charles and just says he has “white hair”. It’s so badass. He spends the night in the King’s linen closet using “a napkin as a blanket.” Are you kidding. That’s awesome. Before falling asleep he thinks it must be pretty nice to be a King, but then again, it’s very nice to be a London mouse. Percival isn’t just a London mouse, but an ideological Buddhism influenced anarchist who reveres community and bartering over titles and status. I have to admit, the SER was phenomenal. Percival is such an interesting guy, but leads his life with such a relaxing nonchalance. SER? A perfect 5:5.

With near perfect scores in our first two categories, it breaks my heart to tell you that the Rewatchability Factor of this video is abysmal. The story begins at 9 am in London. I took this to mean that the full, three hour video would be a slow exploration of the day. I was wrong. By the twenty minute mark we’re already at 2:30 pm, and by 36:06, Percival is drifting off to sleep. That’s when the image fades out and the rain sounds fade in. Yep. Two hours and forty-five minutes of rain sounds. Not even any thunder sounds. Booooooo! Booooooo!! Everyone in the world is booing!!! RF final rating: 3/10.

Have I seen better ASMR videos? Of course. Goodnight Moon’s Babblebrook Series, WhispersRed’s “Check-In at the Dreams Hotel '', Gentle Whispering’s Towel Folding, ASMR Twix’s Japanese head spa visits, etc. etc. Although “A Sleepy Day In The Life of a London Mouse '' may not be the gold standard, it is the greatest story I’ve ever heard about a free-spirited mouse with a sweet tooth in a post-Queen Elizabeth England. Overall score out of 5 Sleepy Mice: 3 and 1⁄2. Sweet dreams everyone.