The Dog Days are Over

15 YEARS LATER HE SHARES HIS STORY; Man trapped inside of dog for over a decade finally speaks out

What once was believed to be a beloved family pet, Gordon formerly known as Alex Miranda (45) revealed to the world that he has been imprisoned inside of a pooch for 15 years.

Clearwater, FL– In 2008, the Lipcheck family was on vacation in Miami when they saw a stray Shih Tzu mix rummaging around in the garbage. What they didn’t know was that the Shih Tzu mix was a 30-year-old human trapped in a dog's body. “They were quite thrown off by my human features. I remember little Sara who was about three then crying: ‘Why does he look like that Mommy!’ That's when I saw a reflection of myself in a nearby puddle.”

Despite his hauntingly human stare, the Lipchecks decided to adopt the screwed pooch; They decided to name him Gordon (after Mike Lipcheck’s late father). Miranda then goes on to share his experience living with Mike, Donna, and Sara Lipcheck.

“…What they don’t tell you is that when you go poopies in the house… it’s a shit show for everyone”

“You know, it wasn't terrible at first. I got lots of treats, belly rubs, and vaccinations too. It was nice to be taken care of like that, even if I was trapped in a dog's body.” The fantasy, though, was short-lived, as Miranda shared with us the downsides of being a family pet; “What they don’t tell you is that when you go poopies in the house… it’s a shit show for everyone.” According to Miranda, Donna Lipcheck was notorious for loving her 35”x60” white carpet in their Clearwater home. “I pooped on her carpet during her New Year's Eve party in 2009. I then ate the poop, threw it up, then ate it again all within three minutes. “‘Quite impressive,’ I thought to myself”. Donna, however, did not.

Miranda claims he was put in “the time out crate” for the rest of the night despite his whining and barking. “Sometimes I still feel like a bad dog. I can’t help it. I think they did feel sorry for me, and they saw it as a cry for help. . .  I just really wanted to eat some poop.” Whether it was the fact that he was endearingly ugly [even in dog form he had the eyes and mouth of a gangly 30-year-old man-child] or the fact that Mike had been wanting a dog for quite some time, Gordon–aka Alex Miranda– was a part of the family. This made his departure all the more bittersweet. “Last March, I was having a particularly bad dream. All of my fur fell off and my legs suddenly grew longer and longer. It was like a reverse werewolf transformation. My body was aching all over. I swear I could’ve felt my bones growing. It was hellish.” Well, it wasn’t a dream. In fact, Gordon changed back into Alex Miranda a la reverse werewolf. The reasons for his sudden change back to human form still remain a mystery today.

Donna and Mike were in for a nasty shock when they found Miranda lying naked on their living room floor.  “They kept screaming,’ Who are you! Where’s Gordon?’ I tried to tell them it was me but they just wouldn’t listen. I tried so hard to explain that It was me—their little Gordy boy—but I think they were just in such a state of shock they couldn’t process it.” Donna and Mike called the police on Miranda and just like that- he was out of their lives. “I’ll admit some part of me was happy to be turned back into a human, but having my  adoptive family just kick me out on a dime broke my heart.” 

Bedwetters reps have reached out to Miranda's former ‘owners’, but declined to comment on the events.