My Love Letter to Cinema
These days everything's about reboots and biopics. Wonka, Oppenheimer, Godzilla, Elvis, the guy who invented Pinball, and of course many more. As a young artist with a strong mind, I have some amazing ideas for movies using popular IP that will really get the audiences of today going. I would love to sell my amazing ideas to Hollywood, so for any executives out there, please tune in as I pitch today's brightest starlets in classic roles with a 2024 twist!
BI SUPERMAN:
Joshua Bassett as bisexual Superman. He asks Jenna Ortega out on a coffee date right before busting out of a Panera to lift a Red Car off of sexy single father Jacob Elordi (which will he choose: girl or boy?). There is a scene where his skinny jeans are toooo tight, which harms him in battle. Audiences of today want to see liberal ideology in superhero franchises, and I’m not afraid to deliver. Of course, Superman remains a Christian and that is not an issue.
EEYORE LIVE ACTION:
Eeyore of Winnie The Pooh fame unfortunately suffers from depression. Must he remain sad and blue for the rest of his life? We all want to see Eeyore cured of depression (seriously, it’s enough of all this). In this live-action film, a CGI-rendered donkey is brought to life by a tastefully done AI recreation of the late great Walt Disney.. Eeyore wanders through The Hundred Acre Woods with the classic bunch, only to find that all the little things Tigger does start to really bother him. He starts questioning what his worth really is to his friends, buddies he’s known for years who barely seem to know him at all. It’s a journey of finding yourself against the infinite odds. Obviously, it is controversial that Walt Disney’s likeness is being used in this film but the family said yes and he would have wanted it and it was his dream and he said that before he died. There are no fight scenes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHARLIE BROWN (SPONGEBOB, THANOS, SANTA)
Charlie Brown, that loveable old blockhead. But what if we could combine all of our favorite, most epic, and culturally significant characters into one movie? This is going to sound a bit far-fetched, but I will certainly make the leap if no one else will. Thanos: the most evil villain of all time. Spongebob: the funniest cartoon character in history. Santa: everyone’s childhood hero. A movie with all three? Plus Charlie Brown? I just don’t know what could be more exciting.
PRINCIPAL MOVIE:
Principals. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. So how come movies never explore the role of a principal? It must be hard to manage a school and discipline kids. Maybe to increase audience empathy, the role could be portrayed by someone likable, like Ryan Reynolds. He really just wants to do a good job and get through the year without anyone getting expelled! The villain is actually a GIANT COW. Senior Prank. An idea for this is “HOLY—” cut to cow taking a giant shit. I really believe in this one.
GEORGE WASHINGTON:
Let’s get a FUNNY GUY in this role, okay? Our nation’s first president is always portrayed so seriously, let’s make this a fun watch and give the guy a little credit! I’m thinking a Jim Gaffigan or Mike Birbiglia comedian type, a dad for sure. Someone with a little bit of meat on his bones. He still has to have white hair because otherwise everyone will be confused. It’s a stoner comedy I think, which is an idea I made up where a movie can be about a guy who is high on weed.
SNL, GIRL STYLE!:
Why don’t we have one night and one night only – just for the LADIES!!! The female cast members are on a roll this year. They can do anything they want for just that one night. Then back to regular. I hope this will be quite inspiring for my two beautiful daughters, Lily and Mia.
I know these aren’t so straightforward, but they are my love letters to cinema. On the golden screen, anything can happen. And who am I if not a voice of today on my way to becoming a leader of tomorrow? Movies are real life because they live in my heart. I have no interest in academics anymore, I only want to talk about stuff like this. I quit my job yesterday. I don’t even know why, because I don’t have anything lined up for me. I don’t say this for pity- I just want to be honest in my writing.
That’s all we can do nowadays. That’s all we can do.